Category: Dating and Relationships
my x dumped me for this guy from my old high school. but we were so close. anyway to cut a long storry short i slolly got on with my life. but for some strange resion i still feel atached even though i am with someone else. what do i do about this?
You don't have to do anything about it. You feel what you feel, but that doesn't mean you have to act on those feelings. A mature person faces his feelings honestly but does not let his feelings control him. As Schopenhauer said, "A man can do what he wants but not want what he wants." Also, contrary to current dogmas, I would advise you to keep your damn feelings for your ex entirely to yourself. A little hypocrisy is not always a bad thing.
it is very hard for me to hide such difficulties although what i chose to do about worked in my faver. in other words i spoke to the current girlfriend she understood. where i was coming from.
love is a very powerful thing in our life. we will always have some feeling of closenesss to people we loved and for some strange reason we have to leave each other. But , we MUST control our feelings once we separate. Trust is a big thing. If you allow your feelings to stray and he decides to build a relationship with you. Can you find it in your heart to trust him? Will he hurt you again? Move on, live remembering the good times...but focus on the present and the future. Especially if you are seeing some one else. If you are seeing someone else it is not fair to keep a close relationship.
with your ex.
I agree with the previous post. Take some time remembering the good things, but make it a point to not linger on it too much. Concentrate on the present and give the current relationship the benifit of the doubt. It will take awhile, but you'll get over it.
i think that you should not linger on it too much because it can cause problems.
It is wrong to still be attached to your ex, despite the fact that u have great memories of them, which r always good to have. Although going out with someone else helps u to not really think about your ex at all, u do start thinking about them again if your current bf or gf is treating u like crap. However, coming from personal experience, it's hard to let go of the memories.
I think I understand wair your comeing from Romeo. my X, whom yes is on hear, for a long time I was still attached to him, but then one day i relized, why on hevins earth should i be attached too him? why be attached too someone who lied too you.
but, that's besides the point. any how, in my oppinion, take the time you need to get over your ex. it make take a wile, but evenchualy it will happen.
Morgan
Dude, just let her go in your mind, what's done is done. Yeah, it's hard to forget the good times, but until those good times stop hurting you, you shouldn't torture yourself with them. Surely you deserve better.
You have a right too, and I don't see any harm in just being friends.
You can't help but be attached still to your Ex sometimes! 3 months and counting for me and every day's just like a physical pain, you just want to sleep it all off for as long as you can, till some miracle happens.
Jen.
I would agree with all these posts on this topic. It does take a while to get over the good times you had with someone you like or love, and it's hard to get over it. I've had experiences where I liked someone, and I would hurt someone's feelings, she would get hurt, and she would not forgive me for it. But later on, I got over it, and I realized that she wasn't the person for me anyway. In fact, she had already had a boyfriend when this all happened. And this was about 4 years ago when I was a Freshman in high school.
i always try to remain friends with exes. however that can often be complicated by the new people in their life or mine - jealousy etc. boundaries are a good thing. It's important to not compare the ex to the current person either.
If you're seeing someone else then yes it is because if they become serious about u and you're still have feelings about your ex, then you're just fucking with that other person's feelings and that's fucked up!
I personally don't think there's anything wrong with having feelings for an x. I myself still care deeply for my x fiance and even my very first girlfriend. The key is not to act on those feelings if you or the x is in a committed relationship and to make sure everyone involved understands and is ok with it.